This is why no one reads my blog...

I think it's hard for some people to follow my blog because I am so all over the place with it. Not to mention people hate to read (sad but true), especially off of a screen.

One day if I’m feeling particularly pensive I may post a lengthy piece solely based on what I am thinking about or how I feel at the moment. That happens a lot. I tend to write VERY descriptively but I guess that’s just because I kick ass in Creative Writing lol.

Sometimes it can be a short quote I've made up or excerpted from a poem I’ve written or found in a book somewhere. Sometimes it can just be my review of a song or musician.

Bottom line is: there is no structure here. None what so ever which is craaaazy if you think about it. I am (or used to be *sigh*) a web designer and one of the cardinal rules of web design: STRUCTURE. Before you can begin to make a functional user friendly site everything must be mapped out or storyboarded the same way a film is made. But come on guys, after reading some of my previous posts I think by now you can conclude that I don't play by conventional rules of... anything really.

I didn't start this blog with the intention of gaining fans, fame, popularity or anything of the sort. I just find it way easier to keep track of my thoughts and put my feelings into thoughts and words by way of blogging. I've never been a fan of tangible journals. I would write in them furiously for the first few weeks and then abandon them. I had the same diary from 4th grade up until the beginning of high school, and guess what? I still have a ton of blank pages. I’d much rather type. I can get the words and thoughts out faster. Plus I am a huge tech geek anyway so it makes sense.

I think... I blog the same way I think. Which is: "chaotically" or "spontaneously". If you want to TRY and understand what goes on in my mind then by all means, you are welcome to TRY. I capitalized that twice because I just know it can't be done. ha!

As candid as I am about most things and based on how open and descriptive I am I bet it would surprise you to know that I am extremely private. I write a lot about how I feel but I bet most of it comes off as vague, and I never ever mention names when it comes to personal situations. And although I write a lot, there are about 42349878976x more things going on in my life that I chose not to tell. Don’t ever take my words out of context either. That’s kind of what I do when I blog about my life, though. I extract a tiny portion and exaggerate the shit out of it.

I know I mentioned in a previous post that I am not a complicated person and what you see is what you get. This is still true. How I am in public IS how I am and it IS what you get but there is just so much more. It’s not being complicated it is just a conscious effort to remain enigmatic. If I meet someone and get close enough to them for them to see some of the other sides of me, things just get complicated because they didn't know that I could take it that far. I’m only complicated to people because they can't understand me, which is cool. I don't really need people trying to analyze everything I do. Wildly hypocritical of me to say being that I, myself, am an over analyzer. I’d much rather watch than be watched; ask questions than be questioned.

Ok I went wayyyyy off on a tangent. Sorry, that’s what happens when the creative writing process kicks in, but this is what I meant about my blog. Expect a lot of tangents, there’s a lot of thoughts up here. I’m not going to organize them for anyone else. There is always a method to my madness and as long as I understand, that's all that matters. I just hope that in some way I am at least mildly entertaining to the .. 4 or 5 people that catch my blog haha