RIP Margaret

not one thing in this world scares me more than death. i've had an issue with this since i was little. going to wakes/funerals makes me extremely uncomfortable. i get anxiety just thinking about it.

its like i don't know how to deal to with it. as i get older i just lose the people closest to me and this thought has the potential to keep me up at night. like tonight. i don't want to sleep for the risk of having a terrible nightmare, or even worse a wonderful memory and waking up to the reality that she's gone and i didn't get to say goodbye or pay my respects as she suffered terribly.

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i'm sorry margaret. i hope you knew that i love you. such a sweet, sweet woman :'( thank you for being so pleasant to me always and accepting me into your family as if i were your granddaughter. you were so strong, never once complained about pain, only.. "a little discomfort". from out here we could all see your suffering. i truly hope you are resting in peace because you deserve it.

love always & forever,
becky