what's in your e-mail?

the internet is such a powerful thing. as i sat in front of my MacBook sifting through the crowd of SPAM upon my inbox i started to think.. hey what if someone had access to my email? such as the way we had the tiny doorway into john malkovich's body in... "being john malkovich" lol

What if someone randomly anywhere in the world, assuming they spoke english, clicked "sign in" on their email but somehow ended up on my account? What type of person would they think i am solely based on what's in my inbox?

Travel sites, offering me caribbean & european vacation packages? yawn. Victoria's Secret, Bath & Body Works, Urban Outfitters., pshh.. hipster. Tons of Twitter SPAM. MSG, a bunch of concert venues, Sallie Mae & other loan/financial or bank companies, Apple, GoDaddy, more music venues, iTunes, Amazon, Fandango. The Daily News. All seemingly random.

WRONG. The social and news SPAM shows that i am aware of current events and probably have many associates. OK, I'm somewhat of a socialite. The travel, music/entertainment as well as tech/nerd SPAM emails show: that I either love to or aspire to travel to the Caribbean & to Europe frequently, enjoy pop culture and the arts, and I am an intellectual. Judging on the status of my financial and bank related email you can tell if i'm good with my money, which I am. As we analyze even further, the shopping & venue related SPAM shows the types of clothes I wear, how my home is furnished and even the types of music & movies I am into. Not to mention my location on this planet! down to the country>state>city>immediate neighborhood.

Let's go beyond the SPAM. This rhetorical "random person" succeeds in sifting through emails to find the gems. What's left? a few personal messages from close friends & family only. Tons of photos from my sister's wedding. Pics from my family in Miami. A few business emails such as forms, original music, contracts, scripts and photos. This shows that I am close to my family. also, since there aren't many personal letters from friends, that I keep my "crew" tightly knit and i only confide in a few very important people on a personal level. the business related emails can give you a general idea of what i do and that's deal with media, the arts and entertainment. that's my career or what i aspire to do.

amazing. i should charge to give free email readings the way people go to psychics. give me a password and some cash and i'll tell you exactly what this person is like. Girls will come to me all the time. Oh, honey he has a lot of porn, medication, and bill related tweets. as well as a bunch of sneakers, video games and social networking emails. I think that means hes home all day masturbating and playing video games and since he has a lot of bills and shopping related sites he probably spends more money than he has saved. which means he probably doesn't have a good job. sneakers, video games and social networks also gives me the impression that he is wasting money getting fresh and frequently hangs out to be broke later. no, i didn't find any business related emails. he's not ambitious. yeah I can take it that far.