Smoke & Mirrors

I'm about to be 23. And I ask myself, what have I accomplished? What do I still need to do?

Trying to answer these questions will drive me insane. It's hard enough for me to decipher what is going on in the very moment that I'm breathing in now. Why would I want to go back and look at all that I have accomplished? It's already done. All I care about is what I can do right now.

What are my goals? I don't have time to think that far ahead. I try and focus but everything is foggy and all I can do is pray that I make the right, or at least SMART decision right NOW to ensure that tomorrow will be a better day.

In theory, I like to have a plan, I like to be prepared. But I am always ready for the hand that I am dealt. Good, bad. Blissful or torturous. Want to know my secret?

Don't expect anything from anyone or anything.

When you learn to count on no one but yourself it's easy to never be disappointed. Want to know another secret?

Always trust your first impression.

My gut never lies. I have an impeccable talent for reading others. This talent along with my intuitive nature keeps me from falling into traps that I was once too blind to see. Blinded by the glamour of the opposite sex, by emotions and by the false friendships I was once accustomed to. Now that I can see past all of the smoke and mirrors, it's easier for me to choose who I want to live in the NOW with.

But beyond all of this knowledge and talent, there is still a woman that is unsatisfied. Knowing everything isn't always fun. When you see how phony your peers can be and live in a world where plastic is praised and natural is ridiculed it can be hard to find pleasure in the company of others.

And so here I am.